What is wrong with me?

I have a problem. I am an self proclaimed under achiever. I an in the friend zone with every girl at my school. I am the most socially awkward and most boring person probably in my school. I dont have a clique. Im recently having suicidal thoughts although i know i could never do it. I want to change. Ive wanted to change. Whenever I try, the image people already have of me make me more awkward when i try to stand out. Im stuck. I cant keep a conversation with anyone for more than 5 minutes only on very broad subjects. What are my options. Funny and serious answers accepted.